Okay, I know these photos have NOTHING to do with today’s topic, but who cares. They’re some of my favorites that Hannah and I have shot and I just love this apple dessert from Bread and Butterly. So let’s pretend we are getting coffee and chatting about a hot topic. The Irish Goodbye. Or as my friends like to call it, The Camerata Dipout.
Yes, I’ve done it so much that they gave it a name. I like to do it while out at a bar when I just hit a wall and need to go home. I have no shame in it! But let’s chat about it seriously because, with the holidays and all the parties and social gatherings, it’s definitely a hot topic! Should you say goodbye when leaving a party, or just leave?
What Is An Irish Goodbye?
The Irish Goodbye is a term used for someone who leaves a party without saying goodbye to anyone. You may have also heard an Irish Exit, French Exit or Dutch Leave.
Why Is It Called An Irish Goodbye?
It’s considered Irish because the Irish people believe that it’s done so that their keys aren’t taken away for being too intoxicated when trying to leave a party. But in the present time, it’s really just used for the person who leaves a party without saying goodbye.
A lot of people feel strongly one way or another about this and I’m here to break it down and give you MY reasoning on why you may not have to say goodbye! Plus, ways to do the “Irish Goodbye” the RIGHT way. Or as my friends like to call it, the Camerata Dipout.
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Reasons to Do An Irish Goodbye
Since it’s peak holiday party time, this is the time of year that I like to do my Camerata Dipout often. And here’s my reasoning.
Have you ever hosted a party before? I have. A few of them actually. And there’s nothing worse than spending the last half of your party saying goodbye to people. You don’t get to enjoy your conversations, you don’t get to hang and relax. Instead, at about halfway through the party, people start to come up to you to say their goodbyes.
I get it, you want to be polite and thank the host for having you, right? I agree! It’s nice! But as a host, it’s a real pain in the ass. You spend the last half of your party having small talk with people who are heading out the door. You aren’t spending time with current guests at your party and making sure people have their drinks full and are having a good time.
If you’re hanging with the host and you’re getting ready to leave, sure say goodbye. But don’t pull the host aside from a conversation they’re in just so you can say your goodbye and make yourself feel good.
I get it, you want to be polite. But you see how that also ISN’T polite? But you want to say thanks, right? Well, let’s keep chatting then…
When And How To Do The Irish Goodbye
There’s definitely a time and place for an Irish Goodbye, or leaving a party without saying goodbye. Use your best judgment, but keep in mind that larger parties shouldn’t require you to track down the host to say goodbye.
Small Parties
Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT leave a small, intimate dinner party without saying goodbye. This rule really only applies to large parties and gatherings. If you’re going to someone’s home for dinner, definitely say thanks before heading out. The host won’t spend 2 hours saying goodbye to their guests. And honestly, a party that small usually means most people are leaving around the same time.
Large Parties
Unless you’re already hanging out with the host, don’t pull them aside from their current conversation to say goodbye. Just head out and say adios to those you’re already with. That way, if the host does ask where did so-and-so go, someone knows you left. Trust me on this.
What To Do AFTER You Did The Irish Goodbye
Just like your mother taught you, you want to be polite, right? I get it, so do I. And you’re probably thinking, but this isn’t polite! Trust me, it’s FINE. But it’s only fine if you follow it up with these tips. If you don’t, then yes you are an asshole, sorry. And you’re giving us Irish Goodbye-ers a bad rep.
Send a Text or Give Them A Call
I like to text the host when I leave saying “hey thanks for having me had a great time, got home safe!” See, you care! Depending on your relationship with the host, give them a call the next day to say thanks for having you and what a great party they threw. It’s nice to get a call. And as someone who has hosted parties, I actually prefer that over someone stopping me mid convo to say goodbye.
Send A Thank You Note or Gift
This definitely depends on the scale of the party and your relationship with the host. But, sending a simple thank you note in the mail is kind of amazing! If someone goes above and beyond to host an incredible party, it’s a nice gesture to pop a little thank you in the mail. They’ll remember that thank you more than anything else you could’ve done at the party. And probably more than any other guest who said goodbye, or texted or called. Thank you notes are EVERYTHING.
TIP: If you’re thinking ahead you can even bring the thank you note with you, and pop it in their mailbox on the way out. That way they get it the next day.
You could also send a little gift, maybe flowers, or local cookies. Sending cookies with a note of “you killed it as a host, now have a cookie you deserve it!” is so fun and way more thoughtful.
What Are Your Thoughts On The Irish Goodbye?
I think an Irish Goodbye is definitely a toss-up in terms of who agrees and who doesn’t. Personally, I’m all for it and see nothing wrong with it so long as you send your thank yous within 24 hours. If you just leave parties all the time and never properly thank a host, then no it isn’t okay. But it’s totally acceptable when done properly when following my tips.
So happy Irish Goodbye Season, friends. Or whatever you like to call this sly party exit, I hope you follow these steps for your next big party so that the host can enjoy themselves!
